Chapter 7

 

Chapter 7 of Writing Analytically was about how to improve your writing more analytically. I found that this chapter is really helpful for my writing project because I know that analytical thinking is going to make an advancement in my writing. This chapter is about various strategies for making more creative and better ideas. These are some of the common topics:  summary, personal response: the reaction paper, agree/disagree, comparison/contrast and definition.  The first thing I was interested in was summary because I am not comfortable with the idea of summarizing analytically, and my partner commented on the summary paragraph on my first draft. So, I should use these strategies on my writing project that summarize the other sources that support my ideas. It is important because writing analytical summary can help you to have more ideas about what you are summarizing. Also, when you are summarizing the text, you can better understand what you are reading. Another interesting part was personal response. We learned in class how to make good responses to each other, and we should apply these ideas when we reply to other’s blogs. Personal response deals with asking what is interesting, see-through, mainly significant, and/or difficult in the reading.

                                      

In class, Mr. Frank taught us the number system. He said that he is going to teach us how to remember the numbers easier, and if we learned it that way then we can remember any one of the  numbers. I was wondering how he was going to teach us and I was interested because I am a really forgetful person. I cannot really remember numbers well. For example, like a friend’s birthday and phone number. I have to look on my phone when someone asks me someone’s phone number. Also, when my parents were looking for a lawn mower, I was following them, and we were like comparing the price from store to store. I had to take a picture of the prices because I kept forgetting the prices. So, I was thinking this is a good chance to learn how to remember numbers.

Here is the number system:

1. = T, D

2. = N

3. = M

4. = R

5. = L

6. = Sh, Ch, J

7. = K, G

8. = F, V

9. = P, B

0. = S, Z

                                                                            

In class on Wednesday, the discourse I wrote about was doctors. They use medical terms which are really hard and difficult to understand. Most of the words they use are abbreviations of the name of a disease. Also, we cannot understand their hand writing but doctors and nurses are able to understand.

                                   

                         

Revision & The Idea of the Paragraph

Before I started my essay, I kind of panicked because a 7 to 8 page essay seems really hard and that means a lot of writing. I was really stuck on how to start this essay. So, it was hard to start, I could not start easily. I kept thinking about how I am going write 7 to 8 pages and which reading I should choose from. Then, I decided on “Our Cell Phone, Our Selves” because I thought this reading is going to be easier to write with. I can easily include my thoughts and opinions into this topic. Also, this reading was the most interesting one to me. I do not think my first draft is organized nor clear because I did it kind of last minute. There is one paragraph that does not really with my topic as well, so I need take off my paper.

When I discussed with my partner, she said that my introduction needs to be developed again because some of my body paragraphs do not go well with my introduction. Also, I need to summarize the reading that I chose for this essay. She mentioned that in the beginning of some paragraphs, I started with a quote or sources, so I might want to start with my topic sentences first. That way I can have a better flow. She also told me that one paragraph of my essay is kind of out of topic. That is how I realized my essay is unorganized and unclear to read, and I read through the paragraphs again.

                                              

In the section, “The Idea of the Paragraph,” it tells you how a paragraph should be written and improved in your writing. Basically, this section shows the relation and connection of paragraphs and sentences. The paragraph should have a topic sentence and all the other sentences in the paragraph should be related and connected with your main point which is your topic sentence. Also, if a paragraph is longer than half a page, the reader and writer will usually get confused. It is really easy to get lost when the writer forgets his/her claim. So, you should give breaks to the reader and between paragraphs should be relating to your main idea.

                                                   

Before revised

In the article "Cell Phones as Computing Devices" Angus K.Y. Wong discusses about the best features presented from mobiles. It is stated in the article that cell phones have come up with such a thing as the medical microscope. It is also called the "cellscope" (43). Cell phones and smart phones several years ago came with little storage. Smart phones came in  about 32 to 512 megabytes. Back then, that much would seem a lot. However, if you were to own a phone with only that much memory or storage nowadays, you might use up all that space in no time. Smart phones these days come with 4 and up to 32 gigabytes. Now that is a lot of data-storage. With more storage, you can do more on the phone. Cell phones now have the most useful tools and apps available for you to keep up with your work, dates and what needs to be done. Wong states in this article that "cell phones provide the most convenient way for people to handle their daily tasks, such as managing personal information, staying connected with friends, and even conducting business" (42). Mobiles have become our planners, papers, notepads, and many other useful tools we use in our daily lives. Not only can our phones become our planners and reminders, cell phones let us keep in touch with our friends and families. One of the most important apps a Smartphone provides is the map and GPS app. With this app, you can find your way easily and just about anywhere you want to go. It can also tell you where you are if you are lost or cannot find your way back home or where you are supposed to be.

After revised

In the article "Cell Phones as Computing Devices" Angus K.Y. Wong discusses about the best features presented from mobiles. Cell phones and smart phones several years ago came with little storage. Smart phones came in  about 32 to 512 megabytes. Back then, that much would seem a lot. However, if you were to own a phone with only that much memory or storage nowadays, you might use up all that space in no time. Smart phones these days come with 4 and up to 32 gigabytes. With more storage, you can do more on the phone. Cell phones now have the most useful tools and apps available for you to keep up with your work, dates and what needs to be done. Wong states in this article that "cell phones provide the most convenient way for people to handle their daily tasks, such as managing personal information, staying connected with friends, and even conducting business" (42). Mobiles have become our planners, papers, notepads, and many other useful tools we use in our daily lives. Not only can our phones become our planners and reminders, cell phones let us keep in touch with our friends and families. One of the most important apps a Smartphone provides is the map and GPS app. With this app, you can find your way easily and just about anywhere you want to go. It can also tell you where you are if you are lost or cannot find your way back home or where you are supposed to be. Smart phones have become a big part of our lives by providing us useful apps and tools that help us get around in just about anything.

I took out a couple of unnecessary sentences. I first used a quote about "cellscopes" but I figured it was not going well with the rest of my paragraph, so I erased it. I think it will flow better this way. I did not change much on my analysis of the quote, because I kind of like how I threw in the information about our phones being useful by providing us good apps and stuff. I added just a couple of sentences for the "concluding sentence". But I might have to change it later if I come up with something better. So for sure, I want to keep my explanatory sentences and the quote.

Chapter 5

In Chapter Five of Writing Analytically, the main focus was on the different ways of reading and interpreting texts. Often times, when we read we do not try to delve for the hidden words. Reading between the lines is an old concept. We tend to read just to read. We only read to understand the main points. We tend to read fast and skim through readings as if it were a race. However, reading and truly understanding is not something to be timed. Reading takes patience and a significant amount of attention to detail. After reading one should be able to casually talk about the text in a conversable matter with other peers. If you have truly read the section then you do not need to look up certain details about the chapter, you simply talk about it and ask questions about it with others. Reading can be a lot like note taking. When you read you should take your own notes of the passage. Rephrasing words and creating a hard copy for yourself lets you remember them easier. This is similar to paraphrasing. When you paraphrase it "allows you to arrive at your own sense of the significance of the sentence"(Rosenwasser 111). Putting sentences that you do not quite understand into more readable words lets you redefine the meaning in your own terms. This makes it easier to remember the meaning. When reading it is important to know why and what you are reading. This means to know the purpose of the argument and to know what the author was trying to teach you.

The articles all talk about the evolving technology around us. The world has quickly become dominated by computers and technology. All three of them talk of the effects that a technology based life has on us. They often compare what our lives used to be to what they are now. However, the stance on whether technology is good or bad is not equal. Some say it is a good thing and protects us while others say it distracts us and unsuspectingly makes us more vulnerable. 

I have not started on my paper. I do not quite know where to begin and I am looking to my peers for more advice and help on this paper. I have not started researching yet but I hope to begin soon and I want to have some sources by then.

Naked Crowd Blogging

In the section titled "Naked Crowd" by Jeffrey Rosen, he talks about the human beings revealing their emotions and feelings openly. He discusses the differences in having sincerity and authenticity. Rosen states that "sincerity requires that whatever is exposed must be true; authenticity requires that everything must be exposed as long as it is deeply felt" (480). When a person is sincere their actions are without deceit. They have a "real" expression. To be sincere is to accept that your actions are valid and complete. When one has authenticity, they can openly express all of their emotions. These emotions come from the bottom of the heart. Having authenticity is like having a lot of profound emotions that you can widely express. Sincerity is only expressing a fact.

Rosen has a really unique way of writing. He writes in a way that makes it easy for me to understand. Although he is a writer who uses big words, I can understand his main claims and such. In this section, Rosen also discusses about how technology has changed the way we express ourselves to others. And even though other people are not necessarily friends nor family members, we would post up our feelings and what emotions we are going through on our wall on Facebook and cyberspace. The way we communicate with the "world" these days is through the internet and texting through cell phones. Rosen writes in the section "The Comfort of Strangers?" that intimacy can only be gained on a personal level. Strangers cannot achieve intimacy through electronical means. Rosen states "to offer up personal information that has been taken out of context, in an effort to create the illusion of emotional connection with strangers, requires us to homogenize and standardize the very qualities that made the information personal in the first place" (484). Putting up personal information publicly for strangers to view and see makes the information non-special and not valuable anymore. It defeats the purpose of having personal information and feelings that only you should know about. I see this happen a lot on Facebook. Many people post up their emotions and feelings and situations they go through. And I know everyone goes through hard times here and there, but exposing personal information on the internet seems a bit too much. I find it unnecessary because personal information is supposed to be kept within yourself and the ones that are close to you. 



These chapters showed the emotional depth that one can take when writing online. The electronical age has been both a blessing and a curse. The internet is now a place to write about every emotional event in one's life. However this is known by the author as an unwise choice and actually reveals the insecurity of the writer.