Blog #9

                      

Last Wednesday, we got in to the group and discussed and worked together. The group work was to talk about one strategy that we read before class and summarizing and editing one group member’s paragraph of their writing project #1. Our group’s strategy was “Strategy 4: Use Your Sources to Ask Questions, Not Just to Provide Answers.” We used Google document to complete this task. It was cool because we can type together at the same time. The strategy 4 was about when you are using a source to your argument or issue, it can bring up ideas and questions. Also, you should try using your source to avoid using the source as answers. One more thing is that you should consider only the source in isolation, you might not find much to say about it. Sometimes, you may not discover all the questions in the source. But you should not say that the source is “wrong”. It's just limited in some ways.

                         

Here is my group’s revised paragraph:

In “The Meaning of Mobile Phones for society” the author breaks down social matters regarding the cell phone and its significance on people. Cell Phones today are more than just a convenient device they are becoming a symbol of individuality by being able to contact someone directly this ability allows not only for us as individuals to be more accessible but the rest of the world as well (Glotz 11). The Cell Phone allows us to be free from traditional means of socializing so now we can be mobile with no restrictions of time and place smart phones especially allow us to chat face to face through the web anywhere anytime (Glotz 13). This quote from Glotz makes us wonder, “How are cell phones harming the society?” The main thing the cellphone does is bring down the boundary of space and time people now have conferences in other countries while never leaving their own town. The Ability to communicate whenever and wherever gives us the mobility to be free. This attribute is the reason our mobile world needs cell phones.

We used Angel’s paragraph from her writing project #1. When we revised this paragraph, it was kind of hard to apply this strategy because we did not have the source, so we were not sure what the sources were about. Also, I understood what the strategy is but I was not sure how to produce a question in this paragraph. We did not know what to do until the very last minute. So, we talked how to come up a question, and Angel told us that this article is about how cell phones are harming the society. Then, Kabao made a question “How are cell phones harming the society?” and she just put the question. After we finished our group work, Angel was presenting our group work and Mr. Frank told us to add, “This quote from Glotz makes us wonder,” this phrase to make more sense. This strategy made Angel’s paragraph more understandable. It also helps the reader to have an understanding of what the article was about.

                                         

For my writing project #2, I am not sure what discourse community I am going to write about. I chose hospital and doctors last time when we learned analysis the discourse community in class. I was thinking about what I should talk when it comes to the hospital and doctors, but I could not think of any argument. I think because I do not know that much about them. However, I will have time to choose my discourse community and get some ideas and the purpose of my writing project #2. 

                  

Blog #8 "On Political Labels"

This week we worked on the midterm portfolio description assessment. We read peer’s midterm portfolio and graded them 5 ways: reading and writing strategies, reflection, summary and conversation, rhetoricality, and language coherence. This is already blog #8 and I feel like the time goes by really fast. We have learned lots of things by doing these blog works. And we only left one week until spring break.
                                    

                         

When I skimmed through this reading, something caught me my attention. The words “Humpty Dumpty” and “Alice in Wonderland” were interesting because I know the movie “Alice in Wonderland” and I have watched this movie before. But I had no idea what or who is Humpty Dumpty. I think that is because I did not grow up here. So, I searched and asked my friends what is Humpty Dumpty. It was a character. When I started reading this article, it was kind of confusing for me because I am not much of a political person, I do not really know about politics. So, I felt this reading was going to be boring and challenging for me. But then it was okay to understand and it was good to learn about the rhetorical effect of words and labels in respect to politics.   

                  

In the reading, “On Political Labels” it shows how people label and how labeling works. Borick mentions that “Luntz advises his politician clients to change the name of the “estate tax” to the “death tax” and to switch the word “privatize” to “personalize” in an attempt to sway public perceptions.” They switched the words I think because they want to make a new word and have attention so they describe the situation better. Also, he said, “Since in all likelihood you will encounter thousands of political labels over the course of your lifetime as a citizen, it is important to develop a lens that will allow for a productive analysis of a label’s use and effects.” This quote demonstration as a citizen, that political labels are important in your lifetime.

                  

This related to the discourse community that we have learned in class. The political community can change by your political thinking, background and side of views. The city or what you have heard or watched before can affect it too. 

Midterm Portfolio

REVISING MY PAPER

It is already time to turn in the midterm portfolio for this class. Since we worked on the first writing project, I got the feedback from my peer and Mr. Frank. For my first draft, my peer said that I needed to start with my topic sentences first, that way I can have better flow in my paragraphs. She also told me that one paragraph in my essay is kind of out of topic. So I put topic sentences at the beginning of my paragraphs, took out the paragraph, and it was better than before. For my second draft, Mr. Frank said that as I introduce my sources and demonstrate my ability to work with their ideas, summarize, and quote, I am able to explore many interesting ideas. He also said that I will have to do more of that though-not just choosing sources that go along with how good cellphones are, but sources that have a bone to pick with cellphones. Another thing that he mentioned is to try to connect each idea to the next and show how my argument is developing. I will explore many interesting ideas from other sources and find negative sides to cellphones. First, I am going to read “The Idea of the Paragraph” again, which is about the relation and connection of paragraphs. Then, I will revise again and use strategies in my tool box.

                          

REFLECTIVE COVER LETTER

For my reflective cover letter, I will write about what I have learned in this class from my writing project. I will include things like how to write and think rhetorically, analyzing the reading, languages on academic writing, what strategies I have learned from reading the book, and how to apply them on my essay.

PREPARING MY PORTFOLIO

For my portfolio, I will post my first writing project with pictures and some texture elements to create my essay. I am going to using some of my blogs that go with my writing project for extra work. I think it is going to be helpful for my portfolio. I will also find some pictures that go to with my essay and put the pictures along with it. 

                                         

Wiki & Chapter 8

                          

The Wicked Wikis

Last Wednesday, we got in to the group and discussed about discourse communities and comics that we made or chose. That group was going to my group which is Wicked Wikis. We had group homework on the wiki. The homework was to post one of our paragraphs from our writing project 1 and then revise each group members’ paragraphs. It was kind of hard to do it because if I did not really understand peers’ main point or ideas, then I might edit my peers' paragraphs all wrongly. Also, if the other classmates are editing a paragraph at the same time, it could be all out of topic, so I read really carefully and then edited them.

When I revised group members’ paragraph, I edited the sentences to make them more understandable. Also, I added some grammatical errors and sentence structures. I felt that some of the words were too colloquial so I changed words academically or removed the colloquial words. In one of my group member’s paragraph, I added some words and added a little bit more of commentary to the quote. I just feel that the quote did not have enough commentaries, so I added on two more sentences after the quote. In another group member’s paragraph, I edited the grammar and sentences. I think that the way the sentence was originally is too confusing and so I changed just a few words to make it more easy to understand.

In my paragraph, I can see my grammar issues were fixed and they added some more words to make it flow. My peers changed some sentences to make them flow and connected them to each sentences. It looks better and it is more understandable now. They also removed a sentence that didn't really fit in with my point.

Chapter 8

                       

When you are writing academically, you need to put evidences to support your ideas. You cannot just say your thoughts without evidence. It cannot persuade your reader. In chapter 8 “Reasoning from Evidence to Claims,” of Writing Analytically was about how to use evidence to improve your writing and develop your ideas, rather than just trying to prove you are correct. This chapter mentions there cannot be claims without evidence and evidence without claims. The evidences are enough to make a thing as true and believable. Also, you should make sure that there is a relationship between the evidence and the claims. And it is better if you make the details speak out which shows that you considered how the evidence complicates the claims. Using evidence can support my ideas more and show that I understand what I am arguing for. These strategies are going to be in my strategy toolbox.