Blog #8 "On Political Labels"

This week we worked on the midterm portfolio description assessment. We read peer’s midterm portfolio and graded them 5 ways: reading and writing strategies, reflection, summary and conversation, rhetoricality, and language coherence. This is already blog #8 and I feel like the time goes by really fast. We have learned lots of things by doing these blog works. And we only left one week until spring break.
                                    

                         

When I skimmed through this reading, something caught me my attention. The words “Humpty Dumpty” and “Alice in Wonderland” were interesting because I know the movie “Alice in Wonderland” and I have watched this movie before. But I had no idea what or who is Humpty Dumpty. I think that is because I did not grow up here. So, I searched and asked my friends what is Humpty Dumpty. It was a character. When I started reading this article, it was kind of confusing for me because I am not much of a political person, I do not really know about politics. So, I felt this reading was going to be boring and challenging for me. But then it was okay to understand and it was good to learn about the rhetorical effect of words and labels in respect to politics.   

                  

In the reading, “On Political Labels” it shows how people label and how labeling works. Borick mentions that “Luntz advises his politician clients to change the name of the “estate tax” to the “death tax” and to switch the word “privatize” to “personalize” in an attempt to sway public perceptions.” They switched the words I think because they want to make a new word and have attention so they describe the situation better. Also, he said, “Since in all likelihood you will encounter thousands of political labels over the course of your lifetime as a citizen, it is important to develop a lens that will allow for a productive analysis of a label’s use and effects.” This quote demonstration as a citizen, that political labels are important in your lifetime.

                  

This related to the discourse community that we have learned in class. The political community can change by your political thinking, background and side of views. The city or what you have heard or watched before can affect it too. 

Midterm Portfolio

REVISING MY PAPER

It is already time to turn in the midterm portfolio for this class. Since we worked on the first writing project, I got the feedback from my peer and Mr. Frank. For my first draft, my peer said that I needed to start with my topic sentences first, that way I can have better flow in my paragraphs. She also told me that one paragraph in my essay is kind of out of topic. So I put topic sentences at the beginning of my paragraphs, took out the paragraph, and it was better than before. For my second draft, Mr. Frank said that as I introduce my sources and demonstrate my ability to work with their ideas, summarize, and quote, I am able to explore many interesting ideas. He also said that I will have to do more of that though-not just choosing sources that go along with how good cellphones are, but sources that have a bone to pick with cellphones. Another thing that he mentioned is to try to connect each idea to the next and show how my argument is developing. I will explore many interesting ideas from other sources and find negative sides to cellphones. First, I am going to read “The Idea of the Paragraph” again, which is about the relation and connection of paragraphs. Then, I will revise again and use strategies in my tool box.

                          

REFLECTIVE COVER LETTER

For my reflective cover letter, I will write about what I have learned in this class from my writing project. I will include things like how to write and think rhetorically, analyzing the reading, languages on academic writing, what strategies I have learned from reading the book, and how to apply them on my essay.

PREPARING MY PORTFOLIO

For my portfolio, I will post my first writing project with pictures and some texture elements to create my essay. I am going to using some of my blogs that go with my writing project for extra work. I think it is going to be helpful for my portfolio. I will also find some pictures that go to with my essay and put the pictures along with it. 

                                         

Wiki & Chapter 8

                          

The Wicked Wikis

Last Wednesday, we got in to the group and discussed about discourse communities and comics that we made or chose. That group was going to my group which is Wicked Wikis. We had group homework on the wiki. The homework was to post one of our paragraphs from our writing project 1 and then revise each group members’ paragraphs. It was kind of hard to do it because if I did not really understand peers’ main point or ideas, then I might edit my peers' paragraphs all wrongly. Also, if the other classmates are editing a paragraph at the same time, it could be all out of topic, so I read really carefully and then edited them.

When I revised group members’ paragraph, I edited the sentences to make them more understandable. Also, I added some grammatical errors and sentence structures. I felt that some of the words were too colloquial so I changed words academically or removed the colloquial words. In one of my group member’s paragraph, I added some words and added a little bit more of commentary to the quote. I just feel that the quote did not have enough commentaries, so I added on two more sentences after the quote. In another group member’s paragraph, I edited the grammar and sentences. I think that the way the sentence was originally is too confusing and so I changed just a few words to make it more easy to understand.

In my paragraph, I can see my grammar issues were fixed and they added some more words to make it flow. My peers changed some sentences to make them flow and connected them to each sentences. It looks better and it is more understandable now. They also removed a sentence that didn't really fit in with my point.

Chapter 8

                       

When you are writing academically, you need to put evidences to support your ideas. You cannot just say your thoughts without evidence. It cannot persuade your reader. In chapter 8 “Reasoning from Evidence to Claims,” of Writing Analytically was about how to use evidence to improve your writing and develop your ideas, rather than just trying to prove you are correct. This chapter mentions there cannot be claims without evidence and evidence without claims. The evidences are enough to make a thing as true and believable. Also, you should make sure that there is a relationship between the evidence and the claims. And it is better if you make the details speak out which shows that you considered how the evidence complicates the claims. Using evidence can support my ideas more and show that I understand what I am arguing for. These strategies are going to be in my strategy toolbox. 

Chapter 7

 

Chapter 7 of Writing Analytically was about how to improve your writing more analytically. I found that this chapter is really helpful for my writing project because I know that analytical thinking is going to make an advancement in my writing. This chapter is about various strategies for making more creative and better ideas. These are some of the common topics:  summary, personal response: the reaction paper, agree/disagree, comparison/contrast and definition.  The first thing I was interested in was summary because I am not comfortable with the idea of summarizing analytically, and my partner commented on the summary paragraph on my first draft. So, I should use these strategies on my writing project that summarize the other sources that support my ideas. It is important because writing analytical summary can help you to have more ideas about what you are summarizing. Also, when you are summarizing the text, you can better understand what you are reading. Another interesting part was personal response. We learned in class how to make good responses to each other, and we should apply these ideas when we reply to other’s blogs. Personal response deals with asking what is interesting, see-through, mainly significant, and/or difficult in the reading.

                                      

In class, Mr. Frank taught us the number system. He said that he is going to teach us how to remember the numbers easier, and if we learned it that way then we can remember any one of the  numbers. I was wondering how he was going to teach us and I was interested because I am a really forgetful person. I cannot really remember numbers well. For example, like a friend’s birthday and phone number. I have to look on my phone when someone asks me someone’s phone number. Also, when my parents were looking for a lawn mower, I was following them, and we were like comparing the price from store to store. I had to take a picture of the prices because I kept forgetting the prices. So, I was thinking this is a good chance to learn how to remember numbers.

Here is the number system:

1. = T, D

2. = N

3. = M

4. = R

5. = L

6. = Sh, Ch, J

7. = K, G

8. = F, V

9. = P, B

0. = S, Z

                                                                            

In class on Wednesday, the discourse I wrote about was doctors. They use medical terms which are really hard and difficult to understand. Most of the words they use are abbreviations of the name of a disease. Also, we cannot understand their hand writing but doctors and nurses are able to understand.

                                   

                         

Revision & The Idea of the Paragraph

Before I started my essay, I kind of panicked because a 7 to 8 page essay seems really hard and that means a lot of writing. I was really stuck on how to start this essay. So, it was hard to start, I could not start easily. I kept thinking about how I am going write 7 to 8 pages and which reading I should choose from. Then, I decided on “Our Cell Phone, Our Selves” because I thought this reading is going to be easier to write with. I can easily include my thoughts and opinions into this topic. Also, this reading was the most interesting one to me. I do not think my first draft is organized nor clear because I did it kind of last minute. There is one paragraph that does not really with my topic as well, so I need take off my paper.

When I discussed with my partner, she said that my introduction needs to be developed again because some of my body paragraphs do not go well with my introduction. Also, I need to summarize the reading that I chose for this essay. She mentioned that in the beginning of some paragraphs, I started with a quote or sources, so I might want to start with my topic sentences first. That way I can have a better flow. She also told me that one paragraph of my essay is kind of out of topic. That is how I realized my essay is unorganized and unclear to read, and I read through the paragraphs again.

                                              

In the section, “The Idea of the Paragraph,” it tells you how a paragraph should be written and improved in your writing. Basically, this section shows the relation and connection of paragraphs and sentences. The paragraph should have a topic sentence and all the other sentences in the paragraph should be related and connected with your main point which is your topic sentence. Also, if a paragraph is longer than half a page, the reader and writer will usually get confused. It is really easy to get lost when the writer forgets his/her claim. So, you should give breaks to the reader and between paragraphs should be relating to your main idea.

                                                   

Before revised

In the article "Cell Phones as Computing Devices" Angus K.Y. Wong discusses about the best features presented from mobiles. It is stated in the article that cell phones have come up with such a thing as the medical microscope. It is also called the "cellscope" (43). Cell phones and smart phones several years ago came with little storage. Smart phones came in  about 32 to 512 megabytes. Back then, that much would seem a lot. However, if you were to own a phone with only that much memory or storage nowadays, you might use up all that space in no time. Smart phones these days come with 4 and up to 32 gigabytes. Now that is a lot of data-storage. With more storage, you can do more on the phone. Cell phones now have the most useful tools and apps available for you to keep up with your work, dates and what needs to be done. Wong states in this article that "cell phones provide the most convenient way for people to handle their daily tasks, such as managing personal information, staying connected with friends, and even conducting business" (42). Mobiles have become our planners, papers, notepads, and many other useful tools we use in our daily lives. Not only can our phones become our planners and reminders, cell phones let us keep in touch with our friends and families. One of the most important apps a Smartphone provides is the map and GPS app. With this app, you can find your way easily and just about anywhere you want to go. It can also tell you where you are if you are lost or cannot find your way back home or where you are supposed to be.

After revised

In the article "Cell Phones as Computing Devices" Angus K.Y. Wong discusses about the best features presented from mobiles. Cell phones and smart phones several years ago came with little storage. Smart phones came in  about 32 to 512 megabytes. Back then, that much would seem a lot. However, if you were to own a phone with only that much memory or storage nowadays, you might use up all that space in no time. Smart phones these days come with 4 and up to 32 gigabytes. With more storage, you can do more on the phone. Cell phones now have the most useful tools and apps available for you to keep up with your work, dates and what needs to be done. Wong states in this article that "cell phones provide the most convenient way for people to handle their daily tasks, such as managing personal information, staying connected with friends, and even conducting business" (42). Mobiles have become our planners, papers, notepads, and many other useful tools we use in our daily lives. Not only can our phones become our planners and reminders, cell phones let us keep in touch with our friends and families. One of the most important apps a Smartphone provides is the map and GPS app. With this app, you can find your way easily and just about anywhere you want to go. It can also tell you where you are if you are lost or cannot find your way back home or where you are supposed to be. Smart phones have become a big part of our lives by providing us useful apps and tools that help us get around in just about anything.

I took out a couple of unnecessary sentences. I first used a quote about "cellscopes" but I figured it was not going well with the rest of my paragraph, so I erased it. I think it will flow better this way. I did not change much on my analysis of the quote, because I kind of like how I threw in the information about our phones being useful by providing us good apps and stuff. I added just a couple of sentences for the "concluding sentence". But I might have to change it later if I come up with something better. So for sure, I want to keep my explanatory sentences and the quote.

Chapter 5

In Chapter Five of Writing Analytically, the main focus was on the different ways of reading and interpreting texts. Often times, when we read we do not try to delve for the hidden words. Reading between the lines is an old concept. We tend to read just to read. We only read to understand the main points. We tend to read fast and skim through readings as if it were a race. However, reading and truly understanding is not something to be timed. Reading takes patience and a significant amount of attention to detail. After reading one should be able to casually talk about the text in a conversable matter with other peers. If you have truly read the section then you do not need to look up certain details about the chapter, you simply talk about it and ask questions about it with others. Reading can be a lot like note taking. When you read you should take your own notes of the passage. Rephrasing words and creating a hard copy for yourself lets you remember them easier. This is similar to paraphrasing. When you paraphrase it "allows you to arrive at your own sense of the significance of the sentence"(Rosenwasser 111). Putting sentences that you do not quite understand into more readable words lets you redefine the meaning in your own terms. This makes it easier to remember the meaning. When reading it is important to know why and what you are reading. This means to know the purpose of the argument and to know what the author was trying to teach you.

The articles all talk about the evolving technology around us. The world has quickly become dominated by computers and technology. All three of them talk of the effects that a technology based life has on us. They often compare what our lives used to be to what they are now. However, the stance on whether technology is good or bad is not equal. Some say it is a good thing and protects us while others say it distracts us and unsuspectingly makes us more vulnerable. 

I have not started on my paper. I do not quite know where to begin and I am looking to my peers for more advice and help on this paper. I have not started researching yet but I hope to begin soon and I want to have some sources by then.

Naked Crowd Blogging

In the section titled "Naked Crowd" by Jeffrey Rosen, he talks about the human beings revealing their emotions and feelings openly. He discusses the differences in having sincerity and authenticity. Rosen states that "sincerity requires that whatever is exposed must be true; authenticity requires that everything must be exposed as long as it is deeply felt" (480). When a person is sincere their actions are without deceit. They have a "real" expression. To be sincere is to accept that your actions are valid and complete. When one has authenticity, they can openly express all of their emotions. These emotions come from the bottom of the heart. Having authenticity is like having a lot of profound emotions that you can widely express. Sincerity is only expressing a fact.

Rosen has a really unique way of writing. He writes in a way that makes it easy for me to understand. Although he is a writer who uses big words, I can understand his main claims and such. In this section, Rosen also discusses about how technology has changed the way we express ourselves to others. And even though other people are not necessarily friends nor family members, we would post up our feelings and what emotions we are going through on our wall on Facebook and cyberspace. The way we communicate with the "world" these days is through the internet and texting through cell phones. Rosen writes in the section "The Comfort of Strangers?" that intimacy can only be gained on a personal level. Strangers cannot achieve intimacy through electronical means. Rosen states "to offer up personal information that has been taken out of context, in an effort to create the illusion of emotional connection with strangers, requires us to homogenize and standardize the very qualities that made the information personal in the first place" (484). Putting up personal information publicly for strangers to view and see makes the information non-special and not valuable anymore. It defeats the purpose of having personal information and feelings that only you should know about. I see this happen a lot on Facebook. Many people post up their emotions and feelings and situations they go through. And I know everyone goes through hard times here and there, but exposing personal information on the internet seems a bit too much. I find it unnecessary because personal information is supposed to be kept within yourself and the ones that are close to you. 



These chapters showed the emotional depth that one can take when writing online. The electronical age has been both a blessing and a curse. The internet is now a place to write about every emotional event in one's life. However this is known by the author as an unwise choice and actually reveals the insecurity of the writer.